You simply had to be there to understand it all (and even that didn't help many of us!). OK, so it went something like this (see the slides above for verification):

First, we were minding our own Rotary business when the bus got stuck - not in snow - but in air (ask Dr. Science). And it was Don and Nancy Falk's fault, since they just had to be picked up in Wacouta.

That was OK, though, since the beer and wine made us smart enough to believe that a small tractor would be enough to pull us out. NOT! But, hey, it's OK, the wheelies were great!

But it was still the Falks' Fault.

After a gallant rescue by local Rotary Polio Eradication Team, the party began in earnest at Mt. Frontenac Golf Course where more beer, wine, and now liquor was plenteous. Bob "Not Quite" Hope was there along with a whole troupe of zany actors and singers. The Twelve Days of Christmas (Twelve Days of Rotary?) will never be the same. Did Dr. Witt really push Bill Laidlaw in the pool?

But it was still the Falks' Fault.

The highlight of the evening was the hypnotic spell cast upon a vulnerable group of tight handclaspers. The hypnotized group apparently got the equivalent of eight hours of sleep by driving sports cars, speaking fluent Martian, fishing, ballet dancing, and smelling the person next to them (among other things). We also now know who the next Miss America will be and (s)he ain't pretty.

All of this, we're pretty sure, was the Falks' Fault.

After all this, even the Rotary Four-Way Test might never be the same again, at least in area Rotary clubs. Is it the truth? Who can say after an evening like this? It certainly wasn't fair to all concerned because it was the Falks' Fault. I think it might build goodwill and better friendships, thanks mostly to the handclaspers and liquor. Will it be beneficial to all concerned? By all appearances, it was beneficial to all (except the Falks).

How can we top this next year? Don't worry - the Falks will think of something.